Dear Diary, Today
I felt a bit sick in the stomach, there was a horrible, bright lightning
storm and I slowly toppled right off my stump, it came with a horrendous
ripping feeling that felt like it lasted for ages. Now I sit on the soft
dirt of The Amazon Rainforest.
Still lying on the ground. A beaver's curiosity took the better of it. It nibbled away at my toes, taking thin, slender logs out of my base, and scurrying away to its dam somewhere. Oh did I mention that it hurt, a lot.
A lumberjack found me lying on the ground, it was very awkward for me, since I'm a tree and cannot speak. I was trying to say that there was a squirrel family that had made a humongous mansion inside of me, but he just carried on and heaved me into the back of a truck.
The lumberjack drove me and some other logs to a gigantic, silver building
that I'd never seen the likes of before. I was awake the whole journey
feeling sorry for the family of squirrels living inside of me.
They drove right into the building and carelessly unloaded all of
the other logs, one by one and then finally me. I was dropped onto a big
wooden crate onto the others. I'll miss that crate, he was nice.
Today the people hastily loaded me into a debarker. I heard a click and I
started to rotate, the top had a pointy bit (like a giant vegetable
peeler) that ripped off my skin, yeowch. Feeling quite embarrassed (I'm
naked you'd be embarrassed to) they yanked me out of the machine.
Next they put me in a shredder. It put a burning sensation
throughout my body, it was like being in a bushfire but without the burns.
When I came out of the weird machine I felt extremely goopy.
Tonight, I got to sleep on a cold wireframe bed, it wasn't very
comfortable but considering all the things I had gone through it was
"beddy" enough to get a nice sleep.
When I woke up I felt really refreshed but I also felt as hard as a
rock. They lifted me off my makeshift bed like I was a plank, I mean I
sort of am, but that isn't the point. They squished me into two giant
rollers that were going at supersonic speed. Directly after squeezing me
in I bolted through them getting flattened. When I came out I felt dry and
thin, but still quite rough.
I got placed on a glowing red metal plate today, it was burning hot, like
a bushfire but with the burns (heat burn, not
charcoal burns). As I got lowered onto the plate I heard a lot of
sizzling. I looked and saw hot bubbles of sizzling water. It made me feel
smooth.
They left me on the hotplate for several minutes. Soon after the
heat turned off. A giant metal cutter fell down on me splitting me into
neat sections. A wall squished me together into a neat stack of paper.
I got packaged into a neat little package of paper. I got loaded into the
back of a truck with some other paper packages. Remember crate, yeah I had
a neat little chat with him on every step of the way.
I got loaded onto a shelf in a supermarket. What an awesome place to
take a nap. I thought. I woke up getting written on by a very sharp
pencil.